Yeah, this isn't failure

My son made a joke the other night.

We were watching “Fresh off the Boat” on ABC and the character Jessica, who’s been a teacher and a writer was now deciding to move into school administration, and wow if it didn’t feel like she was doing my life in some kind of reverse.

I know he was kidding.  I know humor is hard for him and I know it’s something he works at and I really wasn’t mad at him.  I realized I had a teachable moment and I tried to take it.

We were discussing the episode and he made a comment about how I had something in common with Jessica.

“What’s that?” I asked.
“Well, you’re both failed writers.”

I’ll admit, I had a flash of “um, excuse me?” all lined up as his sister came to my defense.  I could see on his face that he’d not thought his comment all the way through, so I took a breath and told him to get ready for bed and that we would talk about it after he’d done that.

It’s been a very busy and eventful year for me as a writer.  If all goes according to plan, I will launch my second novel next month, my fourth book overall.  I’ve led and attended some amazing workshops, met loads of new and interesting people in the writing and publishing world and learned a ton about navigating the industry as an indie.  Our lives were busy before, but I’ve never had as much going on as I do right now.  That said, it’s unlikely that the business side of things will turn a profit this year.  It’s possible if book #2 in the series really takes off, but I’m OK with it, for now.

After he’d done as I asked, I went to his room and calmly explained what success means to me as a writer right now.  To me, success means that I get to keep writing books.  Right now, I’m content to learn the business, get better at the things I’m still learning to do, and just keep writing.  That people have purchased my books, joined my email list, asked me to speak to their classes over the last year is very gratifying to me. 

But I’m just getting started.  I have more books to write, more stories to tell, more readers and writers to meet and collaborate with and more things to learn.  It’s been a really exciting experience for me to start a business, something I knew nothing about before this year.  To have started one that allows me to do the thing I’ve always wanted to do is really and truly, as I often say, living the dream.

So, I didn’t yell at him.  I just explained that while I hope the business turns a profit sooner rather than later, the bigger goal for me is to just keep moving forward.  At this point his younger sister chimed in, asking if I’d buy her a horse when the “Mad cash rolls in,” to which I said no.  But I like the way she’s thinking.  I think he understood. 

If nothing else, it gave me the chance to model goal-setting, long-term planning, and investing in something you love, plus, I didn’t get my feelings hurt either.  I just rolled with it, which must be some sort of personal growth, right?​

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